I look up and there she is, borrowed binoculars pressed up to her eyes as she looks back at me. She is watching me and I smile, until I think through the full implications.
My flaws, my imperfections will be taken in by her eyes. Sometimes she will know the context of what she is viewing, sometimes she will not. This is not a bad or good thing, it is simply what is, it is the position I took on when I was blessed to bring her into the world. I am impacting this precious little girl and her sister and her brother with what it means to be a woman. I am showing them through my actions, through my words, what it means to be a wife, a mother, and most importantly, a follower of Christ.
This is heavy, I cannot carry it on my own. Praise God I don’t need to! His load is light, He will help me carry this.
The additional weight of this is that she is not the only one watching. Every time I step out of my house, I become visible to others. Obviously, their world does not, nor should it, revolve around me. Every time I post something on FaceBook or tweet something or pin something, I make myself more visible, more available. Each of us do.
She came up to me quietly the night before my mother’s memorial service, a cousin I had never met. At some point, we had connected through Facebook, but I don’t remember either of us commenting on each other’s posts or anything. What she said blew me away, “I follow you everyday.” Prayers that I had been posting had touched her heart, connecting us even though I had been unaware. Since then I have become more and more aware of how visible I can be, and I wonder if you know it about yourself, too.
We are each walking somewhere, and though we may not realize, may not even desire it, we are leading others. In our age of information, people long to connect, to bond, to follow, and you don’t have to wear the title of ministry leader to be doing just that. I am not saying this to freak anyone out, I want you to be aware of the precious responsibility you have been given.
I once thought only to lead little children, it was fun, messy, and felt safe. But God has been connecting me to women I never thought knew I existed. Women have come up to me after a performance and I shake my head in wonder that what I wrote has impacted them. As our lives intersect with others, we will leave imprints, some big and some small. I told Christ at age five that I wanted to follow Him. No, I didn’t know everything that would entail, I just wanted to follow Him. The last thing He gave His followers to do before He left this earth was the command to be filled with the Holy Spirit, our helper, and then to go out and make disciples. I said, “yes,” to following Him and in every area of my life, whether I recognize I am visible or not, I must, I must, I MUST be leading others to Christ.
Your turn: Who have you caught watching you? What is one thing you can do today to be a better leader?
For further meditation: Titus 2, Deuteronomy 6