Motherless … Such a sad, slippery word sliding down a pane of glass like tears slipping down my face. The word is too small to contain the truth of the pain, the fear, the loss … Paradoxically, neither can it contain my hope.
The tears still drip down, mingle wet on softened skin as cheeks push upward, a smile lights my face at memories, the truth she is not truly gone. Motherless by worldly standards, she has merely gone before me, left behind her painful shell, slipped away before one last hug, one last kiss, one last word. But hope does not disappoint, I know where she has gone, where He has prepared a place for her.
Her green eyes lit when we spoke of it, our joy at being united with our Father in heaven. With longing she spoke and I knew, she wanted to go, she wanted to leave, and now she has.
My mind is playing games with my lack of rest, my mind is calling back memories of things we had planned before the responsibilities of ministry and a family of my own, before her body rejected her will, corroding with arthritis and pain. I think for a moment with painful regret, ” But we never …” And then I remember the longing in those eyes. Would she return for a simple earthbound plan? Would she trade the glory of heaven, of worshipping at His feet, even for a daughter she loved so well? No. I would not, truth be told, have her return to her pain-riddled body. Free with the wings of a butterfly she has flown to her Savior, and I cannot wish her back, though I love her, miss her, cry for her still!
For further meditation: 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 –
Therefore encourage one another with these words.
Who can you encourage today? How will you begin?