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Wife (Photo credit: Bart Heird)

God, I saw her again today

“her worth is far above rubies or pearls” (NASB)

And I felt sick.

Her husband can trust her, he doesn’t lack anything.

But my husband, he shouldn’t trust me, not always.

I hurt him

Thoughts, words, actions,

Things I did before we met

Things I did this morning.

God, forgive me, I look at other men and think,

“Why can’t he be like them;

More loving, more kind?”

I look at my friends and I covet

their marriages, their homes …

Oh, God, I am so filthy!

How can you change me if I’m constantly blaming others?

I’m not the wife You desire me to be,

I’ve filled myself up with regret and bitterness.

I don’t want to anymore, Lord,

Show me how to get rid of this sin.

Change me, please!

My Father speaks into the chaos of my mind,
“Child, I am changing you
I am at work in these moments of painful self-discovery,
I am the God of all of you.
Do not fear your sin is too great for Me,
My Son’s blood has cleansed you.
Wake each morning with your eyes on Me,
Reciting praises, let thanksgiving fill your heart and mind.
I am not finished with the good work I have begun in you,
Do not grow weary as you follow Me,
As you seek first the things of My kingdom.
You are My daughter, and I love you, you cannot fathom how much.
Trust Me to continue to make you into the wife your husband needs.

For Further meditation:

Proverbs 31:10-31; Philippians 1:6; Romans 8; and 1 Peter 3:1-6