I’m tired of saying I trust You, but losing faith when I see numbers
Numbers like a large black army, marching and trampling forward
Numbers I can’t fathom, the need for them to form a straight line behind a dollar sign so that we can travel, purchase, and share
Numbers I can fathom, representing people, those tangled up in other things, things I try not to judge them for, but I am choked by my isolation. Why won’t they join me in this mission, in my desire to sell all, do all, so we might win some for You? …
These numbers are Yours, for You are God over simple addition to complex calculus, You know the numbers that control the rising and falling tide of the world economy. Lord, my lack is no mystery to You, my abundance does not surprise You.
I am in desperate need and I am weary of asking, begging, pleading, not just for numbers to march in line and fill bank accounts so that we can travel, purchase, and share … but for faith – a tiny mustard seed of faith that trusts You are the God of numbers. They bow in submission to Your will, as I should bow in submission and state that though I think I know what You want to provide, even the lack we are experiencing can be everything You want for us, so that we will depend helplessly upon You. Provide dear Lord, provide that Your name might be lifted high. Provide in whatever way or on whatever timetable You desire. Provide most of all the faith I need to persevere and love You above all else, especially numbers.
For further meditation:
Matthew 14:15-36, 21:18-22, James 1:5-8
- Mountains (braydenemerick.wordpress.com)