Sandwiched between my reading daughters on a squished and faded lime green bean bag, I sit waiting at our little library hoping. In a few moments perhaps, the beginning of something new. I know, the wise preacher told us all is vanity and there is nothing new under the sun. I can attest to the fact that chasing my literary dreams up to this point has felt like a useless gasping, take a gulp of air and find a moment later the desperate need in your lungs for more. And so I have run this race gasping, pleading, begging the supreme author to let me write something useful, worthy, but when I have tried to further my words among publishers, I get small encouragement … I’m good, but it seems no one is willing to take the risk on the unknown.
Compelled to share at my own cost, because this message is now burning me inside out, I sit here hoping. Is this faith? Is this meeting and planning a movement of faith, a statement of trust, “Lord, I believe You work in mysterious ways, I believe You have taught me things I should not keep to myself. Help me God, I don’t want to just ‘breathe to death.’ LeCrae) I want to spend my life in a holy pursuit of You, bringing others to You so they can live their lives joyfully complete in You.”
I don’t know what the librarian will say about my odd idea. Can I articulate this dream, of planning two parties, one of a sharing and reading a bit of my book and then handing it out to readers — free of charge? Will anyone attend a gathering for an unknown author? Will they like my novel well enough to return with their honest feedback and then maybe stick around to discuss the seed of faith I planted within its pages? Am I on the right track to finally move forward?
This adventure is not through, I wait for the librarian to look up and take notice of me.
For further meditation:
What dream are you afraid to dream?
Do you believe it is in accordance with God’s will to further His kingdom?
What would be the best thing about moving forward?
What would be the worst?
Hebrews 11 greatly inspires me, take time to not only read the chapter, but study the passages of flawed individuals who acted in faith and trusted in God. It was counted to them as righteousness, what better gift could there be?
If you have a dream you believe you need more faith to follow, please leave a comment so that I can pray for you on your journey.