It feels self-serving, but I need to write about writing. Perhaps it is no more self-serving than a businessman reviewing his portfolio, but I have avoided it because I worry and stress over things like vanity and becoming self-centered.
While recovering from my surgery I have been astounded by the amount of Bible study I have craved and have begun writing a follow-up study to our conference entitled “More Than a Wife of Pretty Good Character”. With all this work, I thought my novel would remain at a standstill and I sighed inwardly. But, I’m not sure there is a market for my fiction anyway … Otherwise wouldn’t I already be published? You see, I can’t seem to stop writing what I write – faith-filled journeys of people in grand settings – with historical and sometimes fantasy backdrops. The people are what matter to me, they come alive and challenge my faith. In particular a scene at an altar when Rapunzel (mock me if you must, but she asked me to write her story about her year in exile, so I did) looked up at a crucifix and struggled with why a loving Father God would send a precious Son to die. Or the scene in another novel where two sisters are struggling with the ramifications of depression and a stranger tells them that God allows hard things, sometimes unthinkable losses, to draw us closer to Himself (that would be Washed Ashore set in post-Civil War North Carolina). But my dream of sharing these stories and starting faith- based discussions seems so far away from me and in my darker moments I still struggle. I want to share what I’ve learned, what I’m learning and good grief, I didn’t think I was knowledgable enough to ever collaborate and write a conference with a follow-up Bible study. I know my stories and novels need refining so they can be their best, but living with young children in a rural town far from writers groups, it’s been difficult.
During one of my dark moments, God used my daughter to uplift me. Society often tells women that we can accomplish so much more if we remain unattached and childless. I’m glad God gave me a loving husband and three beautiful children, because I have needed them to mature as a woman, and as an artist. My children have learned to read at young age and above their grade level. My oldest is eight and goes through books faster than we can get her to the library. I didn’t realize that she was reading through my novels on my iPad until she told me. She was intent that I hurry and finish my current novel so she could know what happened next. I try to think of this when I feel discouraged and sluggish. I know her tastes are still immature, but still, I am blessed to now count her among my readers. (quick note, she is not allowed to read all of my writings or to get on my iPad without supervision – I found the novel that would be appropriate).
I will conclude with thanking you for reading all of my random posts, prayers, odd poems, journal entries and short stories as I try to build a platform to prove to a special publisher to take a risk with my writings. As always, I pray what I write glorifies our Creator and that today you will find your way to worship Him.
Side note – I have included a picture of my daughter reading one of my novels. What a blessing she is to me!