At times I stand before the fortress, the door is locked tight and I struggle with my key. Though I’ve studied and I’ve practiced, I can’t open it. My hands are sweating, my frustration mounts and like a child I sob. Ridiculous, but I can’t get it right, can’t find my way, I drop the key in the darkness and on my knees I grope, lost and afraid. I’ve lost sight of what You desire of me, I panic in the suffocating fear. All I can hear are Questions looming closer, closer, yawning their mouths wide to consume me in the chaotic confusion. I can’t answer the whys and my key is lost now and I can’t I can’t I can’t –
Little Light, through the darkness of my mind You come to lift me, dry my face, and place my hands on the door knob which gently gives way. I step through in wonder, Questions dissolving as I see Your Holy glory. Colors all around dazzle my eyes, angels fill the air with praises for Your Name. I hit the floor, I cannot stand in Your presence, in the overwhelming rush of Your holiness, love, revelation. That You choose to use me, love me when I deserve to remain lost in the darkness… May I never recover!
Forgive my ignorance, please, and soften my hardened heart! Holy God, illuminate Your Word. I so often misunderstand, I am desperate for clarity. Reveal Yourself to me today, because without You, I am lost and have no chance to spread Your truth to others.
For further meditation: Psalm 34 (what joy and comfort is offered here!)
How can I pray for you today?